And that picture right there is really all you need to know- it was worth it, we did it, and my beautiful little boy is here.
(But since i blogged pretty much the whole pregnancy, the dirty details of delivery are below)
- I lost my mucus plug on Saturday morning ~1am. People say how disturbing this is. Honestly, mine was just a blob of mucus. It wasn't bloody, yeah it's slime, but you've seen mucus before. My personal experience was that this really was NOT disturbing at all.
- On Saturday night, i worked a very busy shift and felt a gush that was enough to soak the crotch of my black pants at 11pm. No one noticed but me, this was not a movie scene. I called the nurse hotline in the morning and they said that unless i was continuing to gush or in pain, it wasn't really my water breaking and i could wait til real labor began- i didn't need to be checked out. DH and i did have playtime on Monday morning, because we were both in the mood and why not. On Monday afternoon I needed to change my underwear a lot, and by evening the slime had a pink tinge.
- At 11:30pm I became aware of contractions (which were not bad) and got in the shower with music. The low-level pain was increasing quickly and i realized the "waves" were roughly a song apart (less than 5 minutes) so i called DH at midnight and told him to come home from work.
- We arrived at the hospital at 1am and contractions were just painful enough to need to stop while walking. They became quite painful very quickly and i begged to just be allowed in a shower while they did all my preliminary paperwork and tested my fluids to make sure my water had actually broken in the delivery room. I had arrived 4.9cm dilated with a clearly broken water. They kept talking to me and asking me questions and i just couldn't stand it. I was so irritated and DH knew it. Eventually they did ask for our birth plan and at least then they stopped trying to chitchat, they turned off the light that was in my face, they left us with a nurse until delivery was imminent.
- ~2am they let me in the shower where i sat on the floor with the hot water pouring on my back- the pain of the contractions was more bearable here. I had an iv pumping fluids into my arm and the alarm on that went off a lot- they showed DH how to reset it each time. When I decided I was done showering (30-60minutes later- when i felt the water had lost its efficacy in pain management and the alarm on the iv was irritating me) I got out and climbed into the labor bed with a towel and covered myself with the sheets. I was 9cm dilated.
- It took ~1 hour to get that last inch of dilation. During that hour, i vomited my breakfast all over the side of the bed and had to get all my bedding changed while in pain.
- By the end of the hour, I was saying- "I want to push! I need to push" and the doctor asked if i wanted him to try to clear the final quarter inch and i said yes, please! I began pushing at 3:47am.
- I was in a lot pain and had a lot of trouble figuring out what position to push from. To me, labor felt like i needed to take a very large very painful bowel movement. My lower back hurt and ultimately, i did bruise my tailbone. I started out on my back and bent. You're supposed to curl your whole body up when you push and i couldn't, so then we tried sideways with a nurse holding my foot- i pushed that way for ~1 hour. Full disclosure, i pushed from my butt and i did poop on the bed- a lot. (And just like they say, the nurse was unphased. They keep pads under your bum and they just wipe it away) Then i switched to tucking my feet up on either side and using the bed's handrails to pull myself up while pushing for ~30minutes. They were worried i would tire easily and i DID whimper a lot. I tried the bars- i couldn't use them . I suggested that i thought maybe i could do all fours or squatting, but when i put the bed down flat, suddenly my body knew how to labor correctly and i was finally able to grab my thighs and curl up for the counts. That last half hour was all the progress!
- When i started really getting the head moving, the doctor came in and used mineral oil to manually stretch out my cervix (to minimize tearing and make room for baby's head) while i was pushing, for which i am very grateful. While his head was stuck in the "wiggle room" room area of forward and back, i was in so much pain. i wasn't in tears, but i labored with my eyes closed and whimpered the whole time. When his head was almost out, the "baby team" was in the room. I whimpered "i just want to be done" and someone said "you ARE almost done, just a couple more good pushes and you'll be done" and it wasn't a lie. I'm so glad it wasn't a lie. So i mustered the strength for some very big pushes. I felt each minor tear, but this was the end and i just couldn't bring myself to care. After the head, pushing his body out just felt like pure sweet relief.
- They wiped him off like i asked so he wasn't totally gross when they plopped him on my belly, but what they say is true- you don't even notice the rest after you have your baby in your arms. Just like i didn't care that i was naked during labor(i gave birth with a towel and two sheets covering my boobs and belly.) I didn't care that I pooped on the table because pushing and coping with the pain were enough to worry about. I delivered my placenta roughly 7 minutes after my baby- it was uncomfortable but slid right out. i had 3 minor tears that needed stitched. They numbed me with lidocaine and i was uncomfortable, but it wasn't the pain of labor. And that is the other thing I have to tell you- labor was the hardest thing i've ever done, but it wasn't the worst pain imaginable. Labor is waves of intense pain, and you feel like you can handle them, but it goes on for hours and the pain level keeps changing- it's an emotional battle as much as a physical one and i totally understand why many women ask for pain management after many hours. I was officially in labor at the hospital for 5 hours (6 1/2 total labor hours if you count when i felt labor begin). I pushed for 2 hours. I just can't imagine those who do it for so much longer.
- Recovery wise i feel like I got too much exercise and all the muscles in my neck and arms are sore/achy. My vagina was super swollen, but overall the only pain keeping me in bed (and in a close relationship with ibuprofen) is that i bruised my tailbone. I'd be pretty content with my pain levels overall if not for the tailbone. Hoping for a speedy recovery there. The shower is still my friend.
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