Irritable

I'm not actually blaming this on baby, just venting. I am super super irritable lately. Co-workers that suck at their jobs, my choice of paint color, my husband's tired crankiness, the neighbors F-ING cat that is peeing all over my yard! I just feel the need to let out that frustration ALL the time. Not that I'm ashamed of the things that are irritating me- I'm not- in general they're all valid complaints- I just feel so whiney.

Mostly I'm sure this has to do with the fact that winter and I don't get along very well. While I've never been diagnosed and don't consider it a real issue for me, I do tend to get some sort of winter depression with the lack of warmth and sunshine. Winter is nearing an end and my pregnancy sickness is significantly improved but i'm still in that hibernation lull where i don't want to GO anywhere or DO anything, and truly dread the idea of going to work everyday (i still go, i just don't want to). Add to it that Bob has had some weird hours lately so he's tired and therefore cranky and I just "can't even".

I'm trying to cope by sprucing up the house, finding little activities that i can do for an hour or so.

Painting
I bought lots of paint- the bathroom, the bedroom, and the baby room. I wanted the bathroom the same color i painted it at our last house, but they don't make that color anymore and then the first color i picked ended up being so so wrong. The Valspar guarantee means i'll get my money back, but it was a source of great frustration for a day. Of course Bob's wary of letting me paint, but it's not like he's proactive about the painting (and he is already whiney about the painting). We opened the windows and i put a bandana on my face yesterday. The only confirmed dangers to pregnancy are based on lead paint and the rest is kind of a, use good judgement thing. My deal was i would ventilate, filter, and just do the edging.

Living Room
 I got the new ottoman I've been wanting for a year so our living room is completely furnished now. At most, it may get a small chair someday, but that's not important to me. I want to get the floors redone before baby because they are rough, trap dirt, and sometimes splinter the way they are. That process is again a HUGE frustration for me. I used an internet app to find refinishers in my area, and that app emails them a request describing what i need. Regardless, they all want to make an appointment to see my floors which i am fine with. What I am not fine with is my phone just rings off the hook with dozen of redneck messages "this is blank flooring. Call me back". Every. Single. One. If I wanted to call 3 dozen places, i would not have used an internet app in the first place! One almost made it. They sent an email contact, i emailed the very detailed job description back, they emailed me an appointment for tomorrow and then yesterday my email has a "Call me" message. I'm not calling. If I had perturbed face emoticon i would use it right now.

Bedroom
Another pre-baby project that HAS to be completed is that we've been meaning to build a large bookshelf in our bedroom for a couple years now. Right now, our "library" is in the baby room, and it can't stay there. In my proactive springtime mode (which is pulling out of irritable hibernation mode), I order the wood and blueprint the shelf and tell Bob we'd pick it up today- to which he promptly began whining about his precious time (even though i have to use MY precious time to take his car for inspection tomorrow- 2 way street?). So when I woke up today, I took my pregnant self to Lowe's, bought different paint for the bathroom, had the nice Lowe's people cut the wood based on my blueprint so it would fit in my shortbed and load it into the back of the truck for me.

Honey hurt herself yesterday so part of my brain is devoted to keeping an eye on her at all times. She jumped from the couch onto a styrofoam cooler in a barking tizzy and fell off of it. I'm pretty sure she sprained her little ankle. She's still walking, running, and getting on and off of furniture, but occasionally she winces or yelps when she hits it wrong. It seems a little better today. If she still seems in pain in a couple of days, we'll go get an x-ray, but she is using the leg and not limping.

Last night Honey was barking at a window for 5 minutes before i got up and turned on a porch light to see that damn cat staring at her from the patio. It pees on the barn, it plays in the shed, i'm pretty sure it's the cat that peed in our car when we moved in. It's clean, fluffy, gray, and cute AND I DON'T WANT IT. I'm 90% certain it actually has a family that just sucks at life, but now i need to catch it. If it has a collar I will probably go be a bitch about keeping your cat indoors with a warning that if it happens again their cat will end up at the nearest zero-kill shelter.

I know Bob is tired and cranky; I'M tired and cranky, I get it. Everytime I try to pull myself out of tired and cranky there he is to yank me back down again. And it's not like the things I'm asking for help with are a surprise or even that optional for some. We agreed that the shelf needs built. We've talking about it for 2 years with express timeframe of "definitely before baby." We agree that the floors need redone before baby because it will be safer for our baby. We agree on painting the baby room. We've agreed for 3 years that we'll paint the bathroom (and i started asking earnestly in January). We agreed on the bedroom color 3 months ago. And then he tries to throw being pregnant at me like it's something I did to him (I didn't. This is a planned baby that we discussed for many years and agreed on a timing and mutually and knowingly had fun conceiving on purpose) because he doesn't want me to lift this or paint that. I "can't" help because I'm pregnant. Not once have I said I don't want to or even "maybe i shouldn't..." when it comes to doing something. I'm a waitress- I walk an average of 8 miles a day and lift 35-50lbs repeatedly all day everyday. As far as I'm concerned, my body is used to this life, and I'm not straining it because I'm not doing anything out of the ordinary for myself. It's just one of those times in life where we're mentally not there for each other because we're both tired and cranky.