Do I Really Need That? Mommy Must-Haves and Have-Nots

Our little man is 9 1/2 months old and we've (mostly) got our groove back. He's doing all sorts of cool things, eating EVERYTHING (but still nursing too), and finally winning over the dog. BUT, this particular post isn't about how awesome our little guy is (and he's pretty awesome). No, today's post is about all those things you think you need that we really didn't use, and what we did.

Mommy Must Haves

Things we used and loved the most

• Basic Bouncer (~$40)- We used our baby's bouncer beyond him really being too big for it (when he could crawl out of it). Our favorite basic bouncer features were the vibrating function, and the stationary mobile. We used our feet to bounce it while we relaxed in the evenings. It calmed him down, stopped screaming, rocked him to sleep, and freed up our hands. It held him outside the shower so we could shower ourselves. It was just plain fabulous and at 9 months, we gifted it to the newest member of the family, a nephew.
  
• Basic Bag- I got a small messenger bag as a gift with donation to the nature conservancy. It was khaki (so my husband didn't mind carrying it either) and had a zippered main body with a pocket on the front, a satchel flap with a zippered pocket, and a mesh pocket on the side for a water bottle. Ours currently has a full sized snack container, a bottle, a baby food jar and spoon, a teether/pacifier, 3 small toys, a onesie and a pair of socks, ~7 diapers, a medium pack of wipes, a "wet bag", diaper ointment that we never use, my epipen, my sunglasses, chapstick. 3 months ago it ALSO had zippered pajamas, a swaddle blanket, and a lightweight nursing scarf. I use a clutch purse that holds a phone and I always just throw it on top. You don't *need* some huge special bag. You'll be okay. 

  

  Top left: Full bag with bottle
  Bottom left: Size comparison of my tiny 12" bag beside a puffs container
  Bottom right: What is currently in our baby's bag.
  Top right: Full bag interior- notice that i folded down ~2" of the bag for a better view.
  That's a LOT of extra space I didn't use!
  
  
  

• Bottle Warmer- We did and still do use our bottle warmer all the time (even though our baby will totally drink cold milk). I pumped early so DH was always warming bottles to let me sleep and a few nights a week, a sitter puts our baby to bed (because we work at night). We also use it steam baby food and sanitize pacifiers. 
• A Good Breast Pump- If you're skipping the breastfeeding/pumping experience, feel free to ignore this must have. Insurance covered an electric pump (I had an Ameda) and i tried several manual pumps as well. My favorite pump, which i still use, is the Avent Comfort Manual Breast Pump. Why? 
• The valve that controls pumping is heavy duty and unaffected by milk entering the chamber. (Not so with the evenflo)
• The silicone flange cover has massage contouring to help stimulate let down which is nice
• The large chamber means that once i get let down going, i don't have to pump terribly much. I can hold the suction while the chamber fills and drop it into the bottle 1/4-1/2 oz at a time, which gives my hands a break.
• We used avent glass bottles, which fit this pump. i had adapters for my other pumps, but it's nice not needing one.
• Why didn't i love my electric pump? My electric pump worked fine, but sometimes i turned the suction too high and bruised my nipples. It also made noise, and was cumbersome to move around the house with me to a comfortable place. Small as it was, it took up space. Also, the suction valves seemed to blow out frequently. When my production was still building, it seemed stupid to use the double pump (and dirty 2 bottles) to get half a bottle from each breast. I needed a whole bag to bring my electric pump to work. i just need the tiny bottle cooler to hold 2 empty bottles and a my manual pump.
• The Very Basics- We used diapers, wipes, bottles and swaddle blankets. The rest is just stuff.
• A Good Toy- This is a little more difficult because who knows what your kid will like? Our baby's 1st Favorite toy was a crinkle book. He still loves it. It keeps him quiet on outings and was great entertainment. He also likes rattles, but for those early months, it was ALL about the crinkle book. He uses pacifiers (we used MAM) for about 3-4 months and then decided he was done.

Have-Nots

The list of things you think you need, but really don't. Save your money, Mommy, there's better things to spend it on

• Diaper Pail- We didn't receive or buy a diaper pail. We brought home the little blue bin they give you at the hospital and fit it beside the wipes on our changing table (though side note, you'll remember we don't have an actual changing table either- we used a desk/shelving unit built by my dad). The little blue bin holds ~5 dirty diapers and then we bag them up and toss them in the trash. Truth be told, We're a family of 3 and we take out the trash every few days anyway. The messy diapers haven't made the regular trash can stink even when we just pitch them in, so why you would want to wait to have a big thing of 2 dozen dirty diapers just hanging around until it's full i do not know.
• Big Diaper Bag- We bought the big fancy diaper bag, and i'm sure we'll use it when we go on vacation in september, but for the last 9 months, we've been using a satchel bag i got free with a donation to the nature conservancy. Something small and plain. It's all you need. Really.
• Refrigerated Bags- We have 3-4 of these. i use the tiniest one on the days i pump at work, but i actually have access to a fridge at work, so the bag doesn't even need to be refrigerated for us. I'm a waitress so i know that food products are allowed to spend 4 hours outside their safe temperature zones (roughly between 40 and 140 degrees fahrenheit). It's a rare occasion that we're going to be out for 4 hours and quite frankly, i got over the public nursing thing pretty quickly. 
• Butt Cream-okay, maybe some babies get oodles of butt rashes. Our baby has had a total of like 2 and we used antibiotic ointment (like neosporin). Mostly it's just important to make sure you dry his heiney off when you change him. We do use sensitive eco-friendly diapers- if your baby is getting tons of butt rashes, perhaps it's worth the cost to switch diapers. 
• Baby Oil- nothing against baby oil, we just don't use it. I used it twice, specifically for his cradle cap (and cradle cap is largely going to last however long it wants anyway)
• A Baby Bath- This may be a comfort level thing, but we've always just taken our baby in the shower. I have not found him to be super duper slippery, but when he was really little i would sit and wash him and then hand him to his dad outside the shower. As he got bigger, we parked his bouncy seat outside the shower and draped the towel over it to bundle him in while we finished our own showers. There is no part of me that wishes i had some big ass baby bath hanging around my house.
• Too many outfits- While I acknowledge that diaper leaks and blowouts are super real when you bring home a new baby (mostly because diapers have a real learning curve with leg holes and a top opening to worry about, and because milk leads to more liquid poop), they *usually* don't go through more than 3 outfits a day and you're going to have favorites. They grow out of stuff quickly, and we always find ourselves reaching for the cutest outfits. With the aforementioned blowouts (which always happen on your clothes and/or their blankets), the laundry needs done more often so their stuff is usually clean. 

3 Months

Oh, my little man, what an adventure you have been. You started officially sleeping "through the night" (til 7:30 or 8am!) a week and a half ago. We're starting to get the hang of settling your gas discomfort and as your digestive system flourishes you suffer less often. Your daddy and I both agree that sometimes, not very often but sometimes, we miss the life we had before you- of movies, bars with friends, and lavish nights out- while in the very same thought knowing with absolute conviction that we would never trade you to have that life back. You are so special, and this new life is scary and exciting and absolutely wonderful. We've both felt much pain (especially mommy with a broken tailbone!) and sleepless frustration and so so much love for you.

The best description I've heard is that you do not love your child more than everyone and everything else in your life- that existing love is still there just as strong, and even grows as their love expands to include your child- but to have a child is to love in a completely new and different way that you never knew was possible. My perfect little man, loving you is all my hopes and dreams and joys combined with all my fears and paranoia. It's a fierce protectiveness and awe in every little accomplishment you discover. It's not only knowing which cry is yours in a room of crying babies, but also hearing the language in the nuances of your different cries and knowing what each one means. It's appreciating those first little moments to shower or pee or put on clean clothes with you content in someone else's arms while at the same time desperately wanting to hold you with the free confidence that only your dad and I allow you, seeing others bond with you in your bottle feeding experience (mommy's milk though!) while fighting the urge to fix the way they hold your bottle.

You said "hi!" ~6weeks (mommy got it on video!) and say it often. You also say "yeah!". Mostly you are just mimicking mommy, smiling back and sticking out your tongue the way I stick out mine, but it's all adorable. In these 1st 3 months, you've grown so much, handled your first round of vaccines like a champ, met Santa (he gave you a toy fox), and so many things mommy is trying to keep track of in your baby book.

Bear with us, little one. We love you too much to screw it up too badly ;)

1 month

It's a month later, and new parenting has been relatively easy. Everything has been relatively easy for us (which in the world of irony is probably because we only ever wanted to do this once- i seem made for this, but have no intention of ever doing it again).

Healing: I had 3 minor tears during delivery- none of which were my perineum- classified as level 2 because they required stitches to make sure they heal correctly. My stitches haven't really bothered me this whole time. They itch a little from time to time. I put a mirror down there about a week after birth and honestly- it was nowhere near as disturbing as i thought. i put a mirror down there yesterday and it looks pretty much how it looked before i gave birth. I am 6 lbs heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight (and trust me, 2-4 of that is these snazzy new boobs baby gave me) However, I have to tell you, I fractured my tailbone giving birth. That's right, I had everything easy BUT I BROKE MY ASS! So, it's been 5 weeks and I am still in pain, my entire buttcrack is black and blue, and my tailbone shifts and pops when i sit wrong. I can walk and everything, sitting it just not very comfortable.

1 month-Baby's First Halloween. My rock hard abs have not returned, but for the most part, my body returned to what it was in the second trimester- before my belly popped.

Birth Weight: I really beat myself up about his weight loss in those first 3 days. It made me feel inadequate or like a bad mom- like i was failing. Sage nurses and bottlefeeds like a champ and i make plenty of milk. Turns out, studies are popping up everywhere showing that babies whose moms were given IV fluids (they gave me 3L, i assume because my water was broken when i arrived.) during labor basically get waterlogged and have bigger weight losses after birth, both because of the extra fluid during initial weight and because the fluid acts as a diuretic filling extra diapers those first few days. My hospital at no point pushed formula or suggested supplementation(but my hospital is anti-formula), but i want you to know- that first week is ok. Sage lost 12% of his body weight in those first 3 days (15oz- almost a whole pound!) and his bilirubin was a little high. I ate lactation cookies and drank milk tea, and just felt desperate. It turns out that a lot of iv fluid babies average a loss of 8%-10% rather than the 5%-7% they quote. By week 1, despite the books, i pumped and gave him bottles and i so do not regret that. He will nurse or bottlefeed, and it's exactly the same nutrition no matter how he gets it, but Daddy got to join in, grandparents and later close friends got to join in on that experience. AND mommy got to sleep. My husband and i already have different schedules because of his work hours, but i get to sleep from midnight-8am or 2am-10am and that is a glorious thing. Try not to take weight loss personally, and not to worry.

Gas: Our baby (lots of babies) has a lot of gas. We burp him, but gas is just a part of life. We do give him gas drops after every bottle feeding, and gripe water when he gets hiccups, but babies magic tea and happi tummi hot pack have been most helpful. Of course, babies just know that when their tummy hurts eating makes them feel better- which does not hold true for gas. Sometimes i let him nurse, but if he just ate i don't need to overfill his belly. We do pacifiers, and he finds it very comforting to snuggle a boob with anything in his mouth, he likes sucking on something and feeling warm skin- the pacifier creates that comfort zone without overfilling his tummy.

Baby Fashion

I've written on several occasions that i find baby fashion to be severely lacking in style, especially for boys. I am so not into cars/trucks, monsters, robots, or stripes. Mostly, i bought a lot of forest critter prints, but i had to really hunt for them so i decided to link them here for helpful reference. Mind you, most of the brands below are pricey (the average item is ~$25-$40), but truth be told the mainstream stores tend to be pricey too. If you can find a good sale, you're golden. You can also find these brands on amazon and ebay, and googling for a shop with a sale never hurts.

*You'll probably notice that the vast majority of these brands are either organic or bamboo (sometimes both). While we do tend to buy organic in our house, that really isn't a criteria in our clothes. The bamboo is because i genuinely love the feel of it, the organic is because i found it an easier search engine filter that happened to bring up prints i liked.

Kickee Pants: bamboo baby clothes in adorable prints from critters to geometrics, and eye catching patterns, Formerly Kicky Pants. Bamboo rayon is super silky to the touch, which we love but one of my friend's hates, so maybe start out with one piece til you know how you feel about it. Some good deals on amazon.

This footie with hat in their "stone bunny" print was our coming home outfit

Kate Quinn Organics: Lots of great prints with animals, nature, and patterns. HELLO15 gets you 15% off, but they had an OCTOBERFLASH sale of 40% off when i discovered them. Some good deals on amazon too.

Winter Water Factory: American made organic cotton. SUPER cute prints, rather pricey.

Kyte Baby: More bamboo. There was less selection here, but i got some cute forest critters from them

Bestaroo: Bamboo- some excellent abstract patterns here.

Milkbarn Kids: Organic cotton muslin. Mostly little animals like foxes and hedgehogs. Formerly Zebi Baby

Nohi Kids: cute patterns. organic cotton

Aden & Anais: muslin. I actually love them for their swaddle blanket prints, but they also have a line of muslin baby clothes with simple patterns, mostly stars and hearts on white.

Hanna Anderson: organic cotton. More adult patterns with a kid twist.

Silkberry Baby: they have some animal and space prints i enjoy, but the colors are a little bright for my personal taste

Babysoy: I actually have purchased from the because i object to supporting the soy industry in any way (boo hiss Monsanto). Alphabet and nature patterns, again sometimes too colorful for my taste.

Burt's Bees: obviously they have a signature bee print (which i love) in addition to some simple but modern and fashionable clothes.

Koala Baby: This is the babies r us brand. They have the cutest little suits and grown up clothes for babies. Pricey for mainstream, but adorable

Janie & Jack: Their website never has much on it, but the stores carry adorable little adult clothes for infants.

Nature Baby: organic nature prints.

Rugged Butts: baby hipster clothes- like onesies with vests on them- boys only

Sweet Peanut: This brand is adorable, but i can only find it in stores like hipsterbaby and zulily

Mainstream: I found some great critter prints and adorable outerwear/sweaters at the mainstream places: Carters/OshKosh (mostly sleepers with critter prints and warm jumpsuits), Children's Place (some affordable onesies in unisex prints), OldNavy/BabyGap (sweaters and rompers) as well as some great sales, but i mostly had to physically visit the store to find things i liked.


Also of note: my favorite swaddle blankets were the ones i made myself. i bought 1 yard pieces of flannel from fabric.com and just sent them through my serger for the edges. I went for adult patterns in neutral colors, but they also have kid's patterns if you're looking for something less fashion and more fun. They're bigger than the average swaddle blanket, which made wrapping easy. They were also a decent weight and super soft for our little man. If you buy extra fabric, you could make matching burp cloths.

Some shops that carry these brands (and sometimes offer sales):

diapers.com
petalandpost.com
bestdressedtots.com
thelittleseedling.com
izzyandash.com

Diapers

I tried free samples of every natural diaper i could get my hands on (check out the freebies page), and I'll try to compare them here

What We Use

• Bambo: $.31- This is the most eco-conscious/environment friendly diaper and also the most high rated eco-diaper in terms of absorbency/comfort/performance. I used a discount code and purchased these by the case, and also received cases as gifts. These are pricey, but soft and absorbent, and work very well. The patterns are kinda bland, and I feel they run slightly large which is why we ended up using 7th generation for the Newborn size. Code bbc30 is a 30% discount.
• Parasol: $.33- These are very very soft. Even softer than bambo. The prints aren't as varied as honest co. but they're cute. They're not the top of the eco-friendly, but they are eco conscious. We switched to these at 10 months after using the trial because they are super soft, very absorbent, we like the interior best of all the diapers we've tried, and they're cute too. $20 off with Katiedid2016 or touchofgray
• Seventh Generation: $.22- i bought these on sale at Target. The newborn size has lots of elastic and a cutout for the umbilical cord. These come in brown and are actually less stiff than a lot of the natural brands we tried. As a more economical eco-friendly option, these rank highly with us. I also found these to be super absorbent- you can tell when they're wet. Of all the diapers we tried, i feel like these wicked moisture into them the best so our baby wasn't as wet/cranky when he peed. Of all the natural diapers, 7gen also has the most elastic for preventing leaks around legs holes.

Other Reviews
Honest reviews of the trial packs of diapers we tried. Most of the natural diapers worked well enough, but some had lousy textures and most of them were EXTRA pricey compared the choices we did make.

• Andy Pandy: $.39 These are honestly almost identical to Bambo with the addition of a super convenient color change stripe on the front. Rather thick and absorbent- they may pull moisture away from the skin well and are soft. We like them as much as Bambo but they cost even more like 8-10 cents/diaper more to add a color change line. 
• Everyday Happy: $.40 These have cute little leaves on them, but are quite stiff so getting them on had a bit of a learning curve for us, but all diapers do in the beginning ;). I had 2 packs of these(10-12 diapers) and we did use all of them. There are samples still on our shelf of other brands, so that does give these honorable mention.
• Honest: $.55 These ran much smaller than expected and it was a challenge putting the newborn size on our 7lb baby. They're very very stiff, though they get easier in bigger sizes. The patterns are super cute, but more varied for girls than for boys, and they're biodegradable. Update: i had bought 2 packs of these (in addition to the trial), 1 little size 1 larger size. When we used the second pack, our baby got a lot of chafing and some open sores on his butt, which cleared right up with ointment, but didn't seem like a coincidence given the use of a different diaper for a week. I have friends that swear by these, but we probably wouldn't buy these again.
• Naty: $.48 These have a tiny heart print on them. Super stiff/thick, but very absorbent and fairly soft.
• Beaming Baby: Forest prints that look similar to pampers. A little stiff. Nothing terribly notable about them. I would not order them from UK.
• Pampers: These weren't eco, but we got samples so might as well review. These are soft and have a color change line and cord cutout. kids prints (pooh bear, sesame street). These seemed small. I liked that they offered samples in pretty much every registry giftbag.
• Huggies: similar to pampers but stiffer. If we were using mainstream diapers, we would go for pampers before huggies. I only got this sample in one bag (Sam's Club)

Our Breastfeeding Experience

I've said several times on this blog that I've never really considered formula an option, so breastfeeding successfully was super important to me. That first latch was awkward and it took us several days to get the hang of it, and even when we were doing well, he just wanted to sleep A LOT. When we left the hospital he was down by almost a pound (7.7%) from his birthweight. A day later he was down by 12% and I was feeling like a crummy mommy for letting him sleep and a crummy mommy for waking him up. He was peeing and pooping just fine, but his bilirubin was climbing and they were talking about jaundice treatment.
I busted out the breastpumps even though they say not to give your baby a bottle for the first 2 weeks. The look of contentment on his face after that first bottle of breastmilk left me with no regrets. And again when I got to watch my husband give him a bottle. And again when I got to sleep through night while DH pulled the night shift. And again when he was still happy to breastfeed. At our 1 week appointment yesterday, he still wasn't quite back up to birthweight, but his average weight gain per day was 3 times the average.

Well, we are at 8 days old and here is what i have learned:

• It gets less awkward. You will figure out how to hold your baby comfortably while they nurse and they will learn to "take a bite out of a boob sandwich" for a proper latch. Google some other holds and positions. It helps.
• Gravity is awesome. Our first *great* feed, i basically planked overtop of him with my boob going straight down. Those gleeful swallows were music to my ears.
• Breastmilk is the only nipple ointment you need. Coat your nipples with it and let them air dry. They will still be sensitive, they're being sucked on repeatedly everyday- but no cracking, bleeding, or blisters here.
• Heat does help. Drink a cup of tea to warm your boobies! Our try nursing fresh out of a shower! It helps your milk flow. A good boob massage helps too! Any of the fenugreek teas will help with your supply.
• Those lactation cookies are pretty awesome. The pre-packaged milkmakers taste kind of gross (i got a sample in my bumpbox), but there are mixes you can buy, and recipes for making your own. Check out these recipes: Oatmeal Chocolate Chip and Nuts & Berries . 
• I pump for when I want him to eat, so I can let him sleep. I usually leave a freshly pumped bottle at room temperature for him, and keep the others for night feeds and outings.

At 1 week, I'm pumping 3-4oz at each sitting (roughly every 3 hours). Sometimes he wants a boob for comfort, and sometimes it's easier to just breastfeed, but the bottles have saved us and i feel no guilt about my fat happy baby (or getting to sleep through the night or getting to share the experience). He's still getting the exact same nutrition from the exact same breastmilk. 

Some guidelines about bottles:

• General food guidelines (because i work in a restaurant. lol) are that perishable items can sit at room temp. for 4 hours, though a lot of sites say it's fine to leave a bottle at room temp for up to 6 hours.
• Refrigerated milk is good for ~1week
• You can keep milk frozen for 6-12 months, but once it's thawed it has about 1-2 days in the fridge.

Some of our choices:

• I wrote about the Ameda Purely Yours pump that i chose. I sometimes feel that it's a little slow, but i will say that the milk absolutely does not back up into the tubing and having washed and air dried a plethora of pump parts at this point, i can't even imagine trying to get tubing clean and dry. I am so glad i picked a pump without this problem. It runs for ~2-3 days on just batteries, but i did eventually plug it into the wall.
• I also bought a manual pump- an evenflo which was the first pump i ventured to use and i bring it to bed with me so i can pump when i wake up. Manual pumps require handwork and some people may not like them, but i find it to be faster
• We chose avent bottles for several reasons. 1 was that i got a lot of free ones, and the fact that they give you bottles to try makes me like them. Another reason was that i wanted glass bottles without a lot of parts. I am happy with the choice for an entirely different reason- his mouth looks the same on this bottle nipple as it does on my nipple and i believe that probably contributes to the ease we are having in switching between the two. In fact, avent bottles are on this list of bottles that mimic the breast and is one of the most affordable options on there!

He's Here! Our Birth Story

Our baby arrived at 5:51am on Tuesday, September 29th. He didn't quite make it to October ;) 7lbs 13oz, 20 1/4", a full head of hair, and just perfect as can be. His APGAR scores were 8 (1 min) & 9(5 min).

And that picture right there is really all you need to know- it was worth it, we did it, and my beautiful little boy is here.

 (But since i blogged pretty much the whole pregnancy, the dirty details of delivery are below)

• I lost my mucus plug on Saturday morning ~1am. People say how disturbing this is. Honestly, mine was just a blob of mucus. It wasn't bloody, yeah it's slime, but you've seen mucus before. My personal experience was that this really was NOT disturbing at all.
• On Saturday night, i worked a very busy shift and felt a gush that was enough to soak the crotch of my black pants at 11pm. No one noticed but me, this was not a movie scene. I called the nurse hotline in the morning and they said that unless i was continuing to gush or in pain, it wasn't really my water breaking and i could wait til real labor began- i didn't need to be checked out. DH and i did have playtime on Monday morning, because we were both in the mood and why not. On Monday afternoon I needed to change my underwear a lot, and by evening the slime had a pink tinge. 
• At 11:30pm I became aware of contractions (which were not bad) and got in the shower with music. The low-level pain was increasing quickly and i realized the "waves" were roughly a song apart (less than 5 minutes) so i called DH at midnight and told him to come home from work. 
• We arrived at the hospital at 1am and contractions were just painful enough to need to stop while walking. They became quite painful very quickly and i begged to just be allowed in a shower while they did all my preliminary paperwork and tested my fluids to make sure my water had actually broken in the delivery room. I had arrived 4.9cm dilated with a clearly broken water. They kept talking to me and asking me questions and i just couldn't stand it. I was so irritated and DH knew it. Eventually they did ask for our birth plan and at least then they stopped trying to chitchat, they turned off the light that was in my face, they left us with a nurse until delivery was imminent.
•  ~2am they let me in the shower where i sat on the floor with the hot water pouring on my back- the pain of the contractions was more bearable here. I had an iv pumping fluids into my arm and the alarm on that went off a lot- they showed DH how to reset it each time. When I decided I was done showering (30-60minutes later- when i felt the water had lost its efficacy in pain management and the alarm on the iv was irritating me) I got out and climbed into the labor bed with a towel and covered myself with the sheets. I was 9cm dilated. 
• It took ~1 hour to get that last inch of dilation. During that hour, i vomited my breakfast all over the side of the bed and had to get all my bedding changed while in pain. 
• By the end of the hour, I was saying- "I want to push! I need to push" and the doctor asked if i wanted him to try to clear the final quarter inch and i said yes, please! I began pushing at 3:47am.
• I was in a lot pain and had a lot of trouble figuring out what position to push from. To me, labor felt like i needed to take a very large very painful bowel movement. My lower back hurt and ultimately, i did bruise my tailbone. I started out on my back and bent. You're supposed to curl your whole body up when you push and i couldn't, so then we tried sideways with a nurse holding my foot- i pushed that way for ~1 hour. Full disclosure, i pushed from my butt and i did poop on the bed- a lot. (And just like they say, the nurse was unphased. They keep pads under your bum and they just wipe it away) Then i switched to tucking my feet up on either side and using the bed's handrails to pull myself up while pushing for ~30minutes. They were worried i would tire easily and i DID whimper a lot. I tried the bars- i couldn't use them . I suggested that i thought maybe i could do all fours or squatting, but when i put the bed down flat, suddenly my body knew how to labor correctly and i was finally able to grab my thighs and curl up for the counts. That last half hour was all the progress! 
• When i started really getting the head moving, the doctor came in and used mineral oil to manually stretch out my cervix (to minimize tearing and make room for baby's head) while i was pushing, for which i am very grateful. While his head was stuck in the "wiggle room" room area of forward and back, i was in so much pain. i wasn't in tears, but i labored with my eyes closed and whimpered the whole time. When his head was almost out, the "baby team" was in the room. I whimpered "i just want to be done" and someone said "you ARE almost done, just a couple more good pushes and you'll be done" and it wasn't a lie. I'm so glad it wasn't a lie. So i mustered the strength for some very big pushes. I felt each minor tear, but this was the end and i just couldn't bring myself to care. After the head, pushing his body out just felt like pure sweet relief. 
• They wiped him off like i asked so he wasn't totally gross when they plopped him on my belly, but what they say is true- you don't even notice the rest after you have your baby in your arms. Just like i didn't care that i was naked during labor(i gave birth with a towel and two sheets covering my boobs and belly.) I didn't care that I pooped on the table because pushing and coping with the pain were enough to worry about. I delivered my placenta roughly 7 minutes after my baby- it was uncomfortable but slid right out. i had 3 minor tears that needed stitched. They numbed me with lidocaine and i was uncomfortable, but it wasn't the pain of labor. And that is the other thing I have to tell you- labor was the hardest thing i've ever done, but it wasn't the worst pain imaginable. Labor is waves of intense pain, and you feel like you can handle them, but it goes on for hours and the pain level keeps changing- it's an emotional battle as much as a physical one and i totally understand why many women ask for pain management after many hours. I was officially in labor at the hospital for 5 hours (6 1/2 total labor hours if you count when i felt labor begin). I pushed for 2 hours. I just can't imagine those who do it for so much longer. 
• Recovery wise i feel like I got too much exercise and all the muscles in my neck and arms are sore/achy. My vagina was super swollen, but overall the only pain keeping me in bed (and in a close relationship with ibuprofen) is that i bruised my tailbone. I'd be pretty content with my pain levels overall if not for the tailbone. Hoping for a speedy recovery there. The shower is still my friend.